Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Challenges, Setbacks and Heartbreak

Ah! It is so good to be home!!

While I love traveling, I enjoy it most when I am on my own, and can do what I want. For the past month, I have been a "caged" woman, and it feels so good to finally escape!!

Don't panic! I haven't been abducted, or held against my own will, but instead I have been chaperoning a group of 16 teenagers in Germany and Austria! Many of you would probably rather be in that cage, am I right?

I successful completed my 7th trip with students, everyone came home in one piece, and with a lifetime of amazing stories! We traveled through Berlin, Bremen, Munich and Salzburg, on our month-long exchange. It was crazy, it was fun and it was tiring, but I am proud of my students, and overall had a nice time. It wasn't a vacation, it was definitely work, but it was fun.

During the trip, my students get to live with German families for 2 weeks. During this time, I am also living with a German family, attending school each day, and teaching. This year, I was able to plan a little side trip (sans students!) to Ireland. It was a much needed break, and gave me a small look at a country I would love to visit again in the future!

The trip was a challenge for me, as I didn't ever have enough time (or energy) to respect my training plan, and I was able to only run once during the entire month! Yikes!!! I can assure you that, while my running was on vacation, I was walking on average 6+ miles a day (not including the BIG city days, where milage could reach 10+!!).

I felt like I was constantly busy during this trip, and when I actually did have the time to run, all I wanted was a nap! It was a real challenge!

In hindsight, I wish I would have had more willpower to put through, as I am struggling now to get back to what I once had!

My first day back to running was July 5th. My sister took me out on a 4 mile run. My legs felt great! Perfect in fact! But my lungs were screaming at me! I was really struggling to breathe, so much so I had to walk way more than my legs needed.

Luckily, I have time to get back into things before my next 1/2 marathon (end of August). Getting back into a routine, and giving my lungs a chance to function again will be my goal for the next two months!  I am excited to get back into a training plan, and to challenge myself again! I need the release of running in my life.

Running has always been for me a release of anxiety, and stress. Without running for the past month, that anxiety and stress has really built up, and with everything that is happening (or should I say: not happening) in my life, I am a big ball of emotions, and we are not talking about the good kind! I am a total mess!

First, I got my hopes up way to high for a job that I applied for at the beginning of June. It was the perfect job for me, and I was beyond excited even thinking about it. I received an email from their HR, letting me know that they would interview me via Skype while I was in Germany, and that they would be scheduling the interviews the next week.

I haven't heard back from the HR since then. I even emailed inquiring if the position was filled: no reply.

I am heartbroken. Seriously.

I wanted this opportunity so badly. I just don't understand what happened. I can fully understand that someone was more qualified than I am, but I need some closure. I just don't get it.

Second, and this may seem petty, but I didn't make it into Nike SF. This is now the 3rd time I have been rejected by the SF area (the job was in SF, the other rejection is coming…). Ugh! I am going to contact "my people" at Nike and see what I can do, but I was really banking on this race….so I am bummed, and the rejection just came at the wrong time.

Third, I feel like I am losing a friend. (Who lives in SF ….what the F is wrong with this town?!). It is a very long story, and I really don't want to get into it here on my blog, but it hurts. Being ignored, being forgotten, it hurts. I have always been the asshole-type of friend, the one who doesn't need you as much as you need me -- you know the one, right? I am more of a loner than anything, always have been. Don't get me wrong, I love people and love my friends, I just am not the type of person who worries about losing friendships, or is necessarily good about "keeping in touch". Its just not my style.

I think that is why this particular situation hurts me so badly. I needed this friend more than he ever needed me. I just want t throw rocks at him, or something. Ha.

Again, all of these things, while small and pretty petty, are coming at me at the same time, stacking on top of each other and breaking my heart.

Hopefully this is nothing that a good 10 or 12 mile run won't cure. Time to tie up my shoes and beat the hell outta that road!

** Photos to come……my life is a mess right now! :)

1 comment:

Lauren said...

I am glad you had such a great time in Germany/Austria/Ireland...I loved all your pics on Facebook!

I am so sorry about that job, but I will if HR is irresponsible enough to NOT get back to you when they offered you an interview, then they may not be the greatest company to work for. Could be a blessing in disguise?

I hope you contacts at Nike can get you into SF so you can reconnect with your friend!